It's time for the recap of our third session of Action Movie World: First Blood, "Satan's Game"! This is my first time at bat as Director, and I was a bit nervous. This is the first time in a long time I've come to a system after other gamemasters, and the first two sessions went so well, I was tempted to try to account for every possibility. But I resisted the siren song of overpreparation, and so was not lured onto the rocky shores of dullness. Anyway, on with SATAN'S GAME!
This session used the Cop playbook. The basic plan: to make a cop movie assaulting the great boogeymen of the Eighties: drugs, rock music, Satan (for some reason) and nonconformity. The setting was Chicago, 1986, and rather than go into laborious detail about what I intended for this monstrosity, I'll reproduce the voice-over trailer I read off before the session began:
Satan's Game Trailer (1986)
[Done in the voice of that one guy who did movie trailers in the late 70s / early 80s, just before Don la Fontaine]
"In a city rocked by crime…"
[a pair of old people is menaced in their home by Satanic lunatics]
"In a time ruled by fear…"
[a hapless student on a stone slab weeps as a leatherbound creep raises a knife]
"In a world in the grip of Satanic madness…"
[some college kids sit around playing a roleplaying game, Lairs and Labyrinths]
"Who will be the winner of SATAN'S GAME?"
[Splash screen with garish, shitty font and blood dripping down]
"A drug created by Lucifer's right hand man!"
[Michael Ironside appears in a robe in a shitty drug lab] “This city will burn! Lucifer rises!” [he injects something into his neck, his eyes glow green]
"The people in the hands of a corrupt politician!"
[a back-alley assassination of some poor dope, possibly carried out by Kurtwood Smith because why not]
"The innocent seduced by the thralls of the devil!"
[evil rock and roll music in a smoky club, excessive cleavage, butts and neon lights]
"Who will stand against the pawns in SATAN'S GAME?"
[Some shadowy figures emerge from a backlit darkness, looking a lot like the player characters...]
"Rated R!"
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| I'LL BLOW THIS PLACE UP AND BE HOME IN TIME FOR CORN FLAKES |
So there you go. The basic plot, as it rolled out: corrupt politician Leslie "Buck" Kendrick (Ronny Cox) introduces a new drug to the city so he can solve the problem he just created and become a hero. To do so, he hires a vicious Satanic psychopath, Damien Chaos (Michael Ironside), who distributes the drug to the kids, who start listening to the rock music and sitting in basements pretending to be elves. Nothing could go wrong with this plan! Also, in case you are wondering: yes, this plot is lifted directly from the likes of Judge Dredd and Demolition Man.
The play group consisted of:
Benjamin Baird as Sgt. John Cobb, a corrupt SWAT team leader with a conspicuously expensive lifestyle. Works with the Colombians on the side. (Frank, playing his first game, using the Gunslinger playbook)
Javier Simpson as Faustiano Ramirez, an ex-cop who quit the force after the murder of his sister by Mayor Buck Kendrick was covered up. (Jerry, again using the Smartass playbook). Faustiano is the Lead for this session.
Anna Citizen as Kelly Bishop, a city accountant who has uncovered a money laundering scheme and is now in the line of fire. Former informant to Faustiano. (Gina, playing the Thespian)
Scott McCheddar as Adrian McGruder, a renegade cop on the edge known as "The Fist." Has disciplinary problems and beats a lot of suspects to death. Faustiano's ex-partner. (Greg, as the Pugilist)
Berkeley Blower as Captain Angus Bellows, the department captain who sat behind his desk the whole session yelling MCGRUDER, I'M TIRED OF CLEANING UP YOUR DEAD BODIES (Bill, using the Yeller playbook)
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| Come on, Michael, you have two lines and then you're shot |
Unfortunately, it’s been a couple weeks since we played, and I didn’t take detailed notes during the session (one of my shortcomings as a GM / Director). But the plot went something like this:
We open on the subway, as Faustiano rides home after a weary day of job-hunting (or whatever it is he does with his days). A menacing punk tries to steal an old lady’s purse as the train empties. Faustiano tries to reason with him, but the punk is obviously drugged out, and a fight ensues. Faustiano slams the punk’s head into the center pole and leaves him for the “actual cops.” Eighties tropes everywhere, right out of the gate!
Later that night, Kelly Bishop, working late at the city offices, discovers the mayor is laundering money through the Universal Church of Holy Waters (led by the Pastor Brian Rivers). As she saves this to her 3.25” floppy disk, she hears a noise in the office. A group of menacing punks with glowing green eyes close in on her and attack her with knives. She takes some Harm, but escapes with her life (and the disk, which gets damaged in the escape).
Across town, the corrupt John Cobb leads a SWAT raid on a drug facility. One of the perpetrators is a contact, Pancho, who reveals in secret that Juan “The Donkey” Sanchez is moving some new drug for a mysterious new player in town.
Kelly seeks out Faustiano at his apartment, seeking out his protection. Faust looks out the window and finds it staked out by more green-eyed punks. (The drug makes the punks’ eyes glow green. It’s also how you know they’re evil -- I mean, aside from their clothing, nonconformist hair, and taste in music. We are running an Eighties cop movie, after all). Faust calls McGruder, who shows up and beats both punks senseless in a spectacular and bloody altercation.
Eventually, the trail of clues leads the gang to “Club Anarchy,” where Damien Chaos, insane Satanic rocker Johnny Scofflaw (played by Gavan O’Herlihy), and his Satanic bassist Rikki Maleficent (played by Tawny Kitaen) have gathered. This is where things get complicated. Faust, McGruder, Kelly and Cobb all arrive at about the same time.
Cobb approaches Damien and company and tries to make a deal, because he is, after all, the corrupt cop. He successfully ingratiates himself with Damien Chaos, then waltzes out to his car, gets out his assault rifle, walks back in, and opens fire. Meanwhile, McGruder and Faust have discovered the club staff making the mysterious drug in the back room. Two simultaneous firefights ensue. Frank (Cobb’s player) rolls an epic Violence roll and hits Damien Chaos and Johnny Scofflaw with a -area, -messy attack. We decide on the spot that the drug is highly flammable, and the two henchmen are incinerated. So long, Michael Ironside, you barely had a chance to overact.
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| Hey, remember "Witchboard?" Yeah, me neither |
I get a chance to make a Director move, and I decide to do what you’d do in the Eighties: I separate the group by kidnapping the female character. Rikki Maleficent chloroforms Kelly Bishop and drives away with her. The cops track her to the Universal Church of Holy Waters, where she is about to be sacrificed to Satan by Mayor Buck Kendrick himself. I have a few precious moments to deliver a Ronny Cox villain monologue before the hero cops wade in and start the bloodbath.
When this final scene approached, Frank eagerly declared he wanted his character to die, so he arranged for John Cobb to walk into the church with two assault rifles, open fire on a massive crowd of insane cultists, and then be mowed down in a hail of gunfire while doves flew into the air and O Fortuna blared in the background. We milked it for everything it was worth, and it was pretty glorious.
Then came the final showdown between the Villain and the Lead. McGruder held off the hordes of cultist baddies while Faust delivered his own monologue and then entered into a vicious final battle with Mayor Kendrick. Jerry (Faust’s player) pulled off a wicked stunt where he managed to get Kendrick stabbed by his own henchman, Rikki Maleficent. Kendrick then shot her, because it’s not an Eighties movie unless a villain murders their own henchman for screwing up. Then Faust took Kendrick’s big sacrificial knife away from him and beheaded him with it.
At the end of the session, Bill won MVP for his performance as Captain Angus Bellows. Throughout the game, various characters would come back to the station house and Bellows would scream at them. Bill brought the house down a number of times and had a number of terrific one-liners (sadly, I didn’t write any of them down, so they’re mostly lost to the ravages of time). Bellows grounded the session and kept everybody on track, despite spending most of the runtime at his desk.
This session was tremendous fun, and I already have an idea for a sequel: SATAN’S GAME 2: THE BRIDES OF CHAOS*. There was a whole subplot involving some evil roleplayers and a Pat Pulling character, as well as a game shop owner played by Eddie Deezen, that I didn’t even get to put into play. Obviously, my life will not be complete until that happens. There's also the Pastor Brian Rivers and his daughter. Brian Rivers is played by Cliff Robertson and is obviously corrupt. I can wring at least two crappy sequels out of this turkey before we're through.
Mechanical Notes
I don’t have much to add in terms of mechanics this time around -- I do, however, have the actor script in PDF with a custom move if you want to have a look at it.
Anna Citizen (Gina) is up next to play the Lead. I’m not sure when (or what) we’ll play next, but I’m looking forward to it!
* because, see, Damien was a Manson-style killer and bigamist who had a whole bunch of brides, and they'll have to avenge his death. For Satan. This stuff writes itself!
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